Bad news in life never has good timing, and when it hits you, it hits hard. Whether it’s the loss of a spouse or a close relative, divorce or retrenchment, most of us will go through different stages of emotional upheaval as we deal with the situation. If someone close to you is going through a difficult period in his or her life right now, it’s reassuring for them to know that there are coping strategies to help them better handle life’s major crises.
Step 1: Find a healthy way to better cope with difficult moments
In order to find a healthy method to help you or your loved ones deal positively with life's darker moments, use the questionnaire to find out how you prefer to cope with different situations.
A,B,C5
Question 1
When I was first confronted with the crisis, my first reaction was to…
A) Attempt to rationalise it and convince myself that it wasn’t really happening.
B) Blame others for the situation.
C) Focus solely on this situation and ignore everything else for days.
Pick One
Question 2
I reacted to consolations from friends and family mainly by…
A) Using it as a distraction from the issue at hand.
B) Constantly feeling angry and rejected by their efforts to console me.
C) Ignoring them – feeling that their words did little to help with my situation.
Pick One
Question 3
When I am not focused on my crisis…
A) I feel a momentary sense of relief because I don’t have to think about it for now.
B) I cannot stop thinking about how things could have turned out differently.
C) I cannot shake off the sense of guilt.
Pick One
Question 4
Every time I think it’s time to face the issue at hand and deal with it, I tend to…
A) Procrastinate and try to find excuses to deal with it later.
B) Go through the motions, but feel unfair that it’s happening to me.
C) Feel overwhelmed and helpless because I don’t know where or how to start
Pick One
Question 5
When I approach my friends and family for help, it’s because…
A) I want them to do the thinking for me.
B) I need someone at whom I can vent my frustrations.
C) I feel like I have nowhere and no one else to turn to.
Pick One
Question 6
Currently, how are you reacting to the situation emotionally?
A) I feel like avoidance is the best course of action.
B) I mostly feel frustrated and annoyed, even at unrelated things or people.
Pick One
Question 6
Currently, how are you reacting to the situation physically?
A) I sometimes feel like lashing out and punching or destroying something.
B) I sometimes feel cold and numb.
Pick One
Question 6
I find myself reacting badly to my friends and family because…
A) They are always reminding me that I have to deal with the situation sooner or later.
B) I feel like their consolations are making things worse for me.
Pick One
Quiz Result
Result is A
You are THE DENIER
Being in a state of denial is your mind’s natural defence mechanism. This is when you refuse to acknowledge a stressful problem, avoid facing the facts, or when you try to minimise the consequences of the situation. A short period of denial is completely natural and can be helpful. It gives your mind the opportunity to unconsciously absorb shocking or distressing information at a pace that won’t send you into a psychological tailspin. A good way to get over a state of denial is to join a local support group where you can talk openly about your feelings, get practical advice from others and develop a better understanding of your situation. (Take the quiz again)
Download week 4 – Are you or loved ones going through a difficult phase in life?
Please note that this does not replace medical or other professional advice. For full Terms and Conditions, please click here.
Endorsed by: Glenn Graves, Psychologist at Counselling Perspective
Quiz Result
Result is B
You are THE SHORT TEMPERED
When faced with a life-changing event, some people react with anger. Anger comes from a deeper emotional core when we are dealing with the unexpected, and it is often redirected at complete strangers, friends, family or even inanimate objects. However, anger usually comes from guilt or misinformation. Before trying to digest information and ask for clarification, it may be wise to ensure you are feeling as calm as possible. To set yourself up for the day try performing some breathing exercises first thing in the morning. Inhale through the nose for a count of four, and then exhale through the nose for a count of four. This helps calm the nervous system. (Take the quiz again)
Download week 3 – Are you or loved ones going through a difficult phase in life?
Please note that this does not replace medical or other professional advice. For full Terms and Conditions, please click here.
Endorsed by: Glenn Graves, Psychologist at Counselling Perspective
Quiz Result
Result is C
You are THE DISPIRITED
It is common to feel discouraged and deeply sad when you are faced with a major life crisis. For example, you may be worried about the cost of a burial, or how you’re supposed to pay off your mortgage now that you’ve been laid off. Tears and grief are part of the process, and sometimes a bit of help from your loved ones and a few kind words like “I am just a phone call away” or “I am here for you” can make all the difference and help you move forward with life. Feeling down is a natural reaction but, generally, if this feeling persists for more than six months, it may be wise to take appropriate action. Seek the help of others – both friends and family or engage professional help. (Take the quiz again)
Download week 4 – Are you or loved ones going through a difficult phase in life?
Please note that this does not replace medical or other professional advice. For full Terms and Conditions, please click here.
Endorsed by: Glenn Graves, Psychologist at Counselling Perspective
Quiz Result
Result is D
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Step 2: Download your week 4 recommendations
What you'll find inside:
Techniques to cope with life's crises
Ways to spot the early warning signs of stress related illness
A resilience meter to keep your stress levels in check
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