Why modern parenting costs more

Millennial parents are spending much more on their children than their own parents did, but there are other ways to invest in your children’s future

Modern parenting - The different spending habits of modern parents | Live Great | Great Eastern Life

Not sure whether to get the Baby Toof Helper or the Little Chew toy for your teething baby? If you’re a Millennial parent, you’re likely to google online for reviews or broadcast your dilemma on the WhatsApp group chat with other mums.

Born between 1980s and 2000s, Millennials — some of them are parents now — grew up having instant access to knowledge in this age of technology. In contrast, their Generation X or Baby Boomer parents were more likely to rely on traditional media, such as advertising, in their decision to purchase a teething toy¹.

The different ways in which these new mums and dads approach parenthood affects their spending decisions. Here’s why modern parenthood seems to cost much more and how Millennials who are parents can still secure a financially comfortable future for their more prominent family.

The Price of Early Achievements

While all parents want the very best for their offspring, parents today — particularly in Singapore — start early when paving the road to success for their children. Stories abound of parents enrolling their tiny tots in enrichment classes even before they are old enough for kindergarten, a modern phenomenon that was reported by the media in 2014².

Modern parents adopting this high-achieving attitude on their children’s behalf does not come cheap: a 14-week term of enrichment classes to prepare them for primary school can cost up to S$3,000³.

"As our standard of living increases, so do our costs and expectations,” says T.L. Lim, 31 and the mother of a three year old.⁴ “Children now are sent to an assortment of enrichment programmes in and out of school like music, sports and academic classes. It’s great exposure for the kids, but it also stems from an unhealthy ‘don’t lose out’ attitude that many parents feel pressurised about these days.”

National statistics reflect the increased cost of living as well as the cost of this additional pressure. The average monthly household expenditure in Singapore went up from S$3,352 in 2002/03 to S$4,724 in 2012/13. Out of this household budget, educational services accounted for 5.1% of spending in 2002/03, but 5.4% in 2012/13, totalling up to a difference of an extra S$115 a month.

Peer Pressure via Social Media

The pressure to keep up with the Joneses is more widespread today with social media. Social media is a sphere of interactivity that the parents of Millennials never got to experience, but posted photos of a friend’s child holding aloft a trophy won in a chess competition can strike fear in Millennial parents that they are not doing enough for their own brood. Faced with constant reminders on Facebook and Instagram of Junior’s new toy or activity, it can be difficult not to feel pressured to jump on the bandwagon when you see how much your peers are willing to invest in nurturing their children.

"When everybody posts the highlights of their family life, it creates a sense of a perfect world that everyone else will try to match up to, even if the post isn’t the full reality,” observes Lim. . Behind every post of a kid’s award-winning drawing, may be a pair of parents spending time and money on the child’s art classes. Millennial parents may even end up spending more on activities that go beyond the norm — from mixed martial arts to sewing — to encourage the learning of other skills, a trend Channel NewsAsia picked up on late last year.

Investing in Your Child’s Future

Despite substantial investments from Millennial parents, enrichment classes for kids at such a tender age may not necessarily give them a leg up when they start primary school. In 2012, The Straits Times carried an article on parental obsession with pre-school tuition, in which Nirmala Karuppiah, a lecturer in early childhood from the National Institute of Education, advised, “There is currently no evidence to show that mastering of skills depends on extensive training in the first few years of life⁵."

Instead, focus on bonding and spending time with your little ones through fun activities with the family that do not require much spending. Even daily walks to explore new environments can nurture in them a sense of curiosity and willingness to learn.Playing certain types of games can also build their self-confidence and teach life lessons about patience, success and failure.

In addition, it’s important to note that preparing the ground for your children’s achievements does not necessarily have to stretch the family’s finances. If you and your partner intend to have a child, plan ahead for his or her future, consider taking up a plan that reinvests your savings; to ensure that future generations are well taken care of. As your children grow older, include them in family discussions on money matters — after all, some lessons go beyond the classroom.

¹http://www.marketingcharts.com/online/millennials-spend-more-time-with-digital-than-traditional-media-but-43680/

²http://www.todayonline.com/singapore/more-parents-enrolling-children-pre-school-enrichment-classes

³http://www.todayonline.com/singapore/more-parents-enrolling-children-pre-school-enrichment-classes

⁴Interview with T.L. Lim

⁵http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/play-or-cram